Deception

The slide is supposedly the biggest in the world, but I’m somewhat apathetic and I tend to ignore grandiose claims from underfunded marketing departments. I do have to admit that the stairs to the top are longer than anything I’ve ever had to climb in my life.

By the time I’m half way up, the metal supports are clearly moving in the wind. I can feel the whole tower swaying. Even my steps seem to make it move. I’m beginning to wonder if it could actually be the tallest in the world. I have a number of questions: how much money do slides make? What expenses are merited to create a slide? How long is it until another slide comes along and becomes the tallest?

After many more flights of stairs and considerable consideration, I allow myself to be convinced that this may well be the tallest slide in the world, simply because I am skeptical that anyone else would bother to build a taller one.

The view from the top is majestic. I feel like a bird, careless as it surfs across the myriad gusts of wind. There is a young man who instructs me in the safety precautions—don’t do anything stupid, don’t try to get hurt, keeps your arms by your side—and then I am in the water. It’s ice cold, and I can smell the chlorine.

Just as I am about to go, he asks me if I passed the weight limit check, but he’s too bored to actually phone down and confirm it. Plus there are other people waiting in line. I sit back into the tube, and I can feel it flatten.

The rush of the first drop takes my breath away. I fall what feels like straight down, my nerves screaming, hair whipping everywhere, hands suddenly gripping tighter into my legs than would ever be considered necessary.

After the straight drop comes the spiral. It starts gradually at first, just a hint of rotation, but then it spreads wider and I am starting to rotate against the outer wall. The whole thing shudders. The spiral tightens, and I am sure that the plastic is starting to flex.

There is a peculiar popping sound and suddenly everything goes from translucent-plastic-yellow to bright white. I am flung out into the air, plastic sections spinning away above me as I plummet. The world rushes up at me, hard, unforgiving. My hands are still tight against my side as I pay for my lie